I haven’t posted in a while. Life’s been hectic; born to be a busybody rebel I guess. When I write, I feel like I can stay off in my daydream forever. That’s how I spend most of my alone time, doing something that puts me in a state of wonder until something from the real world grabs my attention. I forgot how much I love writing, and how well it goes with reading and day dreaming, all things I LOVE to do. And there I said that dastardly word, love. A simple four letter word that can be a free spirited day dream and a binding contract all in one. I think I am in (insert dastardly word here) with a man. A man I have loved for a long time. Someone I have always had a high respect for that offset the rest. He has been there for quite the large portion of my semi long term memory. I met this particular specimen in middle school, seventh grade to be exact if my memory does serve me right. I remember being in gym class with him. Then having English class with him in eighth. That’s where the memories began. The inside jokes. The crush. The staring. The hugs from behind. I remember he was the first guy I ever slow danced with. Our friends pushed us together in the middle of the dance floor. My hands behind his neck, his below my waist. “We Belong Together” by the ever so famous love song empress Mariah Carey came on and I was stuck. Here I am, seven years later, stuck. It’s been like this on and off, for years now. He wants me, I want him, but never at the same time. I think we’ve finally met in the middle. And I think I’ve finally met my match. Sexually, emotionally, physically, mentally, intellectually, creatively and humorously. My friend said he’s the male version of me. Not long ago he got drunk and saw me before leaving for the military. Drunken words being sober thoughts; he told me yet again he wanted to marry me. This time although, was a bit different. He planned out our life together. Very basically, but to the point blunt. He told me I’m doing my chef thing and he’s doing his firefighting thing and when our careers take off we’ll get married. He began to say we would have kids, I think mostly because he wanted to fulfill things he thought I wanted, but then I told him I didn’t want kids, as I already knew he didn’t, then we mutually agreed upon having dogs. I have a dog and he wants to obtain a husky. HAHA a bit out of the box, but the way he came across changed my perspective. He left his friends house to be with me. He told me things he didn’t think I was ready to hear but he subconsciously felt like he was on a timeline, and if he didn’t tell me at that particular time he might not get the chance to. Oh the aftermath and effects of liquid courage. He kept telling me how amazing I was, then wanted to hold my hand and spent the night with me. Of course we had sex, but the way it was was quite a bit different than your average occasional fuck. The way he kissed me, touched me, considered me, held me. It was amazing. I woke up to my best friend sleeping next to me, with his arm over me protecting me. He’s always protected me. I can’t even write this without the urge to tear up. I’m in love, whether I am comfortable with admitting it or not. I wonder if I’m stuck in an unforgettable day dream, or if this is soon to be reality. I hope it’s the latter. And I hope he really feels the way I believe he does. When the bliss of a daydream becomes everyday reality, I will be eternally grateful and truthfully happy. I’m well on my way there.